Ranting 101: Parenting

My Boys playing on their "hideout"

I was raised to not talk religion and politics outside of the family, as a matter of fact the first time I can remember my parents discussing politics (besides eavesdropping on their conversations in the car when they didn't think we were paying attention to them) was after I was already out of the house and engaged... I just always thought this had to do with the fact my mother was Jewish and was afraid of being a target for a hate crime... I'm actually thankful for this a little because it allowed me to form my own political identity without their influence. Which made for some interesting discussions later on... The one thing my Mom did instill in me was to read, research, read, listen and absorb, and read about all sides, then form your own opinions. Which I think has made me into a pretty decent person and I know the ideals I hold are my own... My husband and I often argue/discuss/oppose something simply to play devils advocate and 9 times out of 10 we hold the same opinion on the topic... Its one of the things I absolutely love about my soulmate... Back to my point, is I tend to take huge amounts of information on topics and forge my own path...
 
 I think parenting is one of those topics I've added to that "no talk list" naturally. I pretty much discuss MY parenting only with my hubby, and thank God we don't have different ideas about the major stuff... And I only discuss other peoples parenting with him too... I will ask for advice on general things like potty training or diaper rash or where to find the best deals but when it comes to teaching and disciplining my children certain things are only discussed with my husband. And while I feel that that's the way it should be (only discussing some things with your partner and not the rest of the world) I know that not everyone feels the same, and it gives me a plethora of reading material...

When I was a new mother oh so many moons ago (okay so 30 months isn't THAT many but it sure feels that way sometimes) I made the mistake of turning to an online parenting community for support and asked a simple question and I was literally eaten alive, torn to shreds, and made fun of on other online communities... Needless to say, in my emotional new mother state I was reduced to tears and seriously contemplated whether my son would be better off raised by wolfs... And that was my first introduction to Attached Parenting... Since this particular experience I've avoided parenting blogs and websites and I don't really discuss "styles" with other Moms, I hate the judgeyness that comes with discussing it...

Now my husband and I are the oldest in our families and first of any of our close knit friends to have kids, so it was completely new territory for us, and while I love our Moms and of course they both got many many calls from me, I wanted an opinion that was a tad bit more "in touch" with modern parenting... Kind of like when I was in high school and my Mom asked if I had been approached by a drug dealer yet... "You're just SO out of touch Mom" (I think was my response or perhaps it was an eyeroll or two...) And in my constant search for more "relevant" information for parenting today I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter how or what I do... I'm gonna screw them up anyways...

I have never met a person (or at least out of those who've I've discussed this issue with) who had a "perfect" childhood and has no issues what so ever about the way they were raised... So if my children make it to 18, and are healthy and generally accepted by society I guess I will have done an acceptable job.  Hopefully I'll do better than that... I have wishes for my children when they grow up, that they find loving partners and have a family, that they have decent jobs, work hard for what they have and are happy, that they share or at least considered the ideals I hold close... As long as I raised my children to be kind, hard working, honest, and a good person they're going to get there, it doesn't matter the methods I used to teach them those lessons...

Yes my children probably get too much TV... BUT they've only been exposed to PBS and Disney and other educational programming; which I think has only helped to reenforce what I'm trying to teach, makes my kids smarter and able make the right TV choices on their own...Cashiers are always floored when my toddler tells them to "Have a great day". D is at about 80% with his Pleases and Thank Yous even at home with me... My sons says excuse me when he burps (or when other people do) granted he thinks bodily functions are hilarious... 9 times out of 10 its not my kid having a meltdown in Target or Wal Mart... Granted I have kids, I have a toddler, they meltdown, I've had a shopping trip when the cashier told me "So that's your kids"... Same trip where a very nice bakery lady sought me out several aisles away to give them cookies in hopes we'd all have less of a headache... But that has only happened once... My boys are awesome in restaurants, granted that may be because I let them use the iPad (but how is that any different from letting me have a book at the table when I was a kid, something I WAS NOT allowed when I was home) but I value the ability to carry on a conversation that isn't about Wall-E and burping... =) I spend time everyday playing with my boys, both together and individually, but it is SUPER important to me that my boys have the ability to entertain themselves for a length of time... Most nights when my hubby is at work I am able to get a meal on the table mostly uninterrupted, my boys are never alone or unsupervised but they are able to do their own thing... I feel like they value the playtime we do spend together (everyday) more because I'm not a constant playmate.

I don't read (least not regularly) any kind of "parenting" blog because I believe in instinctual parenting... I come across them when I do reading on something relevant like potty training or toddler activities but firmly believe in listening to my gut when it comes to my kids... My kids tell me when they're hungry, bored, interested in something new, or tired and as long as I stop and listen to them and continue to teach my ideals and society basics (like the golden rule, and ABCs and that kind of stuff) my kids are going to be okay...