As I light...

My parents, Sister and I at my Mother's 58th Birthday Party

My Mother passed away the Saturday before Easter last year, on April 23rd and as we approach this particular passing of time, I don't feel right calling it an "anniversary" for some reason, many things float in and out of my head... For example, this entire season will be painful for awhile I suppose... One of the things I got from my Mom was my love of traditional holidays, her favorite holidays and mine for the same reasons are Thanksgiving and Passover, and we just entered the Passover season last weekend, so of course she's on my mind... Last year I didn't celebrate Passover, they had a small Seder at the Hospice House with her and I had such a difficult time being there I didn't go, but this year we kept up with tradition and went to a family friends' house and celebrated the holiday the way my Mom loved to celebrate Passover, with lots of wine, laughter, and of course with family and friends... And it was bittersweet... I'm glad to know I managed to make my way through Passover without falling apart completely, I was afraid Passover would be ruined for me...

Then came Easter, which we didn't celebrate when I was a kid, since she passed on Saturday we didn't really celebrate Easter last year, but I was determined to not associate one with the other, especially since Easter was early this year and I was doing alright with it until one of my cousins made a reflection on facebook about her personal journey in dealing with the loss of my Mom... I broke down thinking about how hard last Easter was, but then I thought about my cousin's reflection on trying to focus on the life side of things this year rather than the death side and I pulled myself together and hopefully celebrated a decent Easter with my boys, our first real Glahn family Easter... I hope we keep the Easter Pizza tradition... =)

Tonight my Dad and I are going to Temple for my Mother's yahrzeit... I'm not Jewish but I was raised in a Jewish home, so I know a bit about the faith and customs but am by no means an expert, but I know enough that I can honor my Mother's faith and memory. The Jewish calendar is different from the civil calendar so her yahrzeit is on a different day every year... So of course that's thrown into the mix. This year I'm figuring out the calendar thing and I've actually missed the day I was supposed to light her candle, I'll light it today and say some prayers for her and I'll get it right year... I had a moment when I realized this and I felt absolutely horrible but I think my Mom understands... I can remember times when she missed her Dad's being busy being Mom, but she'd lite it   =)

Next will come the actual 23rd, and I'm weird where once I fixate on a date I will never forget it and the meaning it has... April 23rd, will never be just the 23rd of April anymore, I've asked my hubby to take off so I won't be alone, and even have considered asking a friend to come spend the day with me if the hubby can't get the day off... Part of me wishes her passing wasn't surround by holidays and that calendars where universal so I only had one day I had to be reminded of her passing, but I don't think its as simple as that... I honor my Mother, and her life, and her memory everyday, but I feel like I deserve a day where I can remember her passing and think about how it much it sucks she gone and selfishly curl into the fetal position, stay in bed and cry over how much I miss her and wish her back to us again, without feeling like a horrible mother and wife because of it... All that emotion reminds me that sometimes it back to taking in just one day at a time or even one moment at a time....

I am however comforted by thoughts of the joy my Mother would get out of all the new life coming into the world... My best friend found out she's going to have her 3rd child on Easter, my brother and sister in law are going to find out next Tuesday whether they're having a boy or a girl, one of my friends is getting married in October, another dear friend is also pregnant... So much life and joy to celebrate, that's the circle of life though right?

Carpet Wars

So a few weeks ago I posted about my Project Iron the Carpet where I literally ironed my carpet. I spent a total of 7 hours over 3 nights ironing my carpet and after awhile while those spots were cleaner, the rest of the carpet was just bad and continued to get worse, seeing as I let the carpet go for a week or two longer than I would have while I tried to figure out something else... While doing research on it I discovered that my problem was probably stemming from my over zealousness to get my carpet clean and I was therefore using too much soap and as I wasn't doing a water rinse. So there was quite the build up of what's called detergent residue. So I decided to go back to basics and keep things simple. So tonight I spent 2.5 hours cleaning my carpets, again. I first did a water rinse to try to get up some of the detergent residue and the recent dirty stuff up. I followed up with a vinegar wash. I used a half water half vinegar mix. Then followed with a second water rinse. I am confident that the carpet is the cleanest I am going to get it. I need to figure out a good carpet spot stain remover. Once I figure that out I think I'll have the carpet situation until complete control but for now I've got it under control...

Some things to note about this process. You can tell how clean I was getting the carpets by simply watching the water I was dumping. During the first water rinse it was a thick almost chalky soapy but not sudsy water, then during the vinegar wash it was just dirty, but then the second water rinse wasn't clear but it was certainly cleaner and more "dirty waterish" than the first water rinse. Also the carpet fibers had the same dirty to clean to them. The chunks of fibers that clump up kinda of like lint, went from black to a greyish to white like new fresh fiber was being pulled up. There was also a definite reduction in the amount of fiber pulled up too. Like I said I am confident that the carpet is as clean as I am going to get it. I just need to find a good set stain carpet remover and I'll have my carpet cleaning system down pat!

The Before

The After

The Before

The After

DIY Soaps

Lately I've been all about figuring out what works for us... Whether its been routines, cleaning schedules, what keeps me motivated to get everything done, or better habits for all of us, I feel like I am starting from scratch and having to figure what is going to work for us now that we're in our own place and everything is up to us. The year and half we spent living with my parents while I was taking care of Mom, everything was already in place, their routines, cleaning (Dad has a maid service), etc. So I feel like I've spent the last 6 months figuring out everything all over again and I'm finally getting there... Which means I have more thought and time and resources to go into some other projects... Yay!!!

Which brings me to the new projects I've been working on. So I've seen on pinterest the DIY cleaners and soaps and I decided to jump on the band wagon and figure out if that's what is going to work for us. I really liked the idea of keeping things simple, using less chemicals and all that... So I went to the hubby and talked to him about it and he liked the idea but didn't want to make large amounts of anything until we know how we like it, so I said I can make that work... I didn't plan it out this way but it worked out to where I've made the soaps in the amounts that I'd usually buy so we'll really be able to see the difference in actual usage. The DIY soaps are suppose to last longer so we'll see. I marked my canisters that I'm storing the soap in with the start date and so I'll know for sure how long it lasted... All my practical calculations were based on volumes on packages and the idea of using 2 Tablespoons a load/run. I will recalculate everything again once I know what the actual usage is...

I brought from Wal Mart; a box of Borax, Washing Soda (who knew such a thing existed?) Lemi Shine, Oxi Clean, regular old salt, canisters to keep the soaps in, and Bar Detergent Soap. You also need baking soda which I had on hand. I use it a cup at a time in the boys bath when they have diaper rash, it feels like one of them always has it, so we buy it in bulk from Costco. I made Dishwasher Soap and Wash Soap (laundry soap) that should last me about 3 months. Guess we'll see...

DIY Dishwasher Soap

The How To

I found the pin and decided to not mess with it any. It calls for 3 cups of Borax and 3 cups of Washing Soda. 1.5 cups of salt and the whole container of Lemi Shine. I mixed it up in the container by closing it up and shaking it well. It smells lemony so that's a good thing...

The Practical Stuff - Using volume for the calculations and given that I'm going to use 2T a load.  This mix will roughly make 72 runs of the dishwasher. All the stuff in the mix cost me $7.52 and makes it works out to roughly $0.10 a load. Compare that to powdered detergent and its roughly $0.09 a load. So maybe its not technically cost effective. But that's the math, we'll see how long it lasts.

How Does it Work?
I've washed my dishwasher using it, which was advice I had gotten awhile go that you should clean your dishwasher by running it empty every once and awhile and I figured I'd better start off fresh. I guess will see how it works and whether I notice a difference... =) 
*** Updated: 3/26/12 OMG I love this soap! I can see the difference in my silverware! My dishwasher is brighter and cleaner and so it seems are my dishes. I played around with some plates and left gunk on to see how well it works, for this dishwasher I still to scrap and clean off in the sink what I would have with the other stuff. Like I said a second ago, I can see a difference in my silverware. I have a stainless steel set that was pretty decent before but this soap doesn't leave any residue and barely any water spots, I think if I add some more rinse aid to my dishwasher, those would be gone. Amazing difference and totally worth the penny difference per load. I even have started using a little less because its SO clean, I don't think I need that much soap...
 

DIY Wash or Laundry Soap

The How To
I did things a little differently than the woman I linked you back to, since I compromised with the hubby about making smaller amounts I tweaked hers a bit. The only tricky bit is grating up the bar soap. I actually cut myself on the grater, oops... Since I used 3 cups out of the Borax and washing soda I decided to use the rest of it for the Wash Soap ( I call the laundry the "wash" so it's playing out in my head as Wash Soap). I dumped the Borax into the container, measured out what was left of the washing soda so I could use the same amount of baking soda which was 3 cups, added the whole container of Oxi Clean  since I have some messy boys in my house and then I grated up the bar soap and added it. Then I closed up the container to shake it all up. The Oxi Clean came with a pretty decent scooper so I think I'm just going to use it.

The Practical Stuff
The math works out to 96 loads with our average of a load a day it should be roughly 3 months worth of soap... With a cost of $10.65 it comes out to $0.11 a load. Compared to $0.18 a load for Gain powder which is what I normally use. It already comes out cost effective.

How Does It Work?
Well I've done a load of wash and it smells clean and seems brighter. But to be honest it could be one of those mind over matter things. So stayed tuned and I'll let you know how it goes...